Just Kill These Dolls Already

Just when you think a decisive blow has been cast against these children's play whores dolls, you read an assessment like this and have to wonder, "Can anything bring down these big-eyed, scantily dressed, hip-hop action figures?"

First, if you buy your children these dolls I apologize for the rhetoric. But let's face some fact. The dolls embody all that is Brittany. Nuff said. See you on rehab visitors day.

For those of you not following the saga (and gosh, what drama): Guy works at Mattel; he has an exclusivity contract with Mattel; he designs Bratz (cause God knows, any woman in her right mind wouldn't depict girls this way); he decides he can make a lot of money selling slutty dolls if he takes the design elsewhere; he sneaks it out to MGA; they strike a deal; they get rich; Mattel gets mad; legal action (many years of legal action) ensue; Mattel wins; Court says MGA must surrender Bratz.

All well and good. But the issue now is that Mattel has not made it clear whether they would destroy the brand or keep it going. I guess there must be good money in prostitution.

Certainly MGA has made it clear that they will continue fighting the court order that could end production by February 2009. But really, would it matter? Every pimp eventually has his "ho's" busted. They just go out and find some new ladies and count their money. MGA will take a hit and find more hapless young girls to take advantage of.

Okay, I've had my fun. I should probably get to the real point and be the guy who runs a fabulously professional-sounding marketing podcast called The BeanCast, rather than the muckraking blogger. The Bratz thing strikes a nerve with me because it is a perfect storm of everything wrong with children's marketing. It's both sex and plastic crap, combined with lifestyle projection. And this is bad for kids.

Even though I do marketing for a living, I live in a house where children's programming is limited to commercial-free fare. But that goes out the window around the holidays because of Christmas specials. Suddenly my whole family is exposed to a plethora of plastic crap and kids having more fun than would be humanly possible with said crap. And as I watch these ploys to pull my money from my pocket and my daughter from her innocence, I came to the conclusion that commercializing our kids with fantasy lifestyles is probably doing more to harm our society than sex in advertising ever could.

But Bratz does both. It creates a fantasy around plastic crap, and that fantasy is aligned with popular media figures who have trouble keeping their clothes on.

I hate to be the prude here, but an 8 or 10 or 12-year-old (and arguably a 16-year-old) really shouldn't be exposed to this. Even the American Psychological Association agrees. From the L.A. Times Article: "Describing the Bratz as dressed 'in sexualized clothing, such as miniskirts, fishnet stockings and feather boas,' the report said it was worrisome that girls were being "associated with an objectified adult sexuality."

So the Bratz are in limbo and the store shelves are still filled with them and little girls still want them. And parents everywhere groan in our agony. Sounds like a Christmas movie, doesn't it? Now all we need is Santa to ride in to save the day. But I'm pretty sure Santa has a contract with MGA, so don't count on it.